Although my poetic entries are good, I am running low on fuel for them.
In other news I wonder how I am capable of making the same mistake twice. The worse part about this mistake is that I knowingly did it all on my own. I had it in the back of my mind from the beginning and I think that is what may have messed me up. Oh well, I just have to teach myself to not take things so seriously. I think If I were capable of letting go of whatever is holding me back, I would be a whole lot more happier than I am as of this very moment
I am however in a very decent mood, even with my winter break coming to an end, I believe I did not waste a single second of it being sad or confused like I usually would. I am thrilled by simplicity suddenly and I am enjoying each moment it enters my world. For instances, I ordered Netflix and for some reason I cannot tell you how ecstatic I am for it! I put loads of foreign films on it along with independent ones I have always wanted to see!
I've been discovering simplicity in my most complicated relationships. I'm uncovering the small things that I never noticed before and realizing that the people in my life are more worth it than one could imagine. I am realizing that although I am "alone" romantically speaking, that I am better off and I am realizing that relationships that are formed now may not last, that I am not at a point where I need one or even long for one.
I am still at the point where I do not know what I want from my life, which may be a bad thing but who knows. I am unsure of where I should transfer to in a year or what I am going to do when I get there but I do know that no matter what I am always taking my photos with me. I know that when I am completely done with college I am packing all my belongings and I am going cross country to California and there I will become a vagabond and learn about life the real way. I am determined to do all this and yet I feel no sense of direction. oh my.