The Midwest.

The Midwest engulfed us for quite sometime Elijah. 

as I mismatched clothes on purpose and changed in front of you.

The smell of gas stations and empty diners never felt more like home

and I loved the way your name rolled off my tongue like a Shakespeare Sonnet

while we found time to debate science and religion, love and outer space

but at the end of the day you'd get tangled up in me, and I'd lose myself in you

how you held my head when the motion sickness came over me

as each breath of air you took gave me wings to grow, gave me wings to go

So give my regards to Nebraska, for giving me Elijah, for giving me life.

cheers.

Summer:

please, oh please hurry up!

cheers.

The most well known stranger.

The further we are away from what we knew

the more I know you are becoming the most well known stranger

as frustration flows into loss and the loss floats off 

when we stood on the edge of everything and I told you i'd always be there

when we stood side by side and said"no matter the distance"

And I'll only ever know you through these photographs I've found

While words just don't cut it, they're all I have left for this matter 

As you're the most well known stranger, as you were my best friend

I can't help but remember the good times

cheers.

the stillness.

the whistle of the wind was entering my window that night

as our dirty hands found one another, as my head laid upon your chest

we wrote our dreams on scraps of paper and sent it into the dark

while the silence filled the room and the only sound was your heart beat

and the stillness of my head moving slightly on your chest 

our forgetful minds sometimes forget

cheers.

The Train Arrives at 11:30

The Train leaves at 11:45

She stood there, with her pathetic suitcase filled with three shirts, two pairs of pants, and a journal. She stood there with her pathetic suitcase beside her waiting for the train. She arrived at 11:15 in hopes of the new beginning to happen soon. It was a cold but a sunny winter day and the Train would arrive in 15 minutes. In 15 minutes she would be boarding a train to a new life. Her heart beat faster with the anticipations of forgetting a world that seemed to be forgetting about her happiness. A glance at her watch, it read 11:20. So close she could taste it, how strange it felt to be waiting for something so simple as a train. 11:26 is when everything changed, not 11:45. 

She stood there with her pathetic suitcase filled with three shirts, two pairs of pants, and a journal. She stood there with her pathetic suitcase glancing at her watch waiting for time to go. She saw the minute hand on her watch change from 11:25 to 11:26 and that is when the Silence came. There amongst the noise, that comforting noise, a Silence fell into her ears. Not any silence, not the silence you hear when you walk into a quiet room, that silence with that annoying buzz. This silence was so pure, so real. At 11:30 the silence continued but the train pulled into the station. She stood there, her ears clogged with one of the most real sounds she had heard in her lifetime. There, on the Edge of everything that ever was and on the edge of everything that could be a stranger named silence walked in. This stranger unpacked the world and the memories of what was, This stranger unpacked a world of everything that could be. At 11:40 she had a choice. 

There was a pathetic suitcase filled with three shirts, two pairs of pants and a journal. There in the Train station at 11:46 was a Lonely suitcase filled with someone's world. There in a Train station where the Train had already left was a Lonely suitcase and a sense of wonder. At 11:50 a stranger walked by and saw a piece of paper attached to the pathetic lonely suitcase. He picked it up and read the three lines upon it:

"If you could would you erase it? 
and then, the silence came. 
Thats when everything changed."

cheers.

A Narration.

As we starred up into the night sky we imagined our bodies light years away from here

While all the wishes we made were on nothing but the traffic that was in the sky that night

My vision was incapable of focusing on one thing, I wanted to take it all in, I wanted it to last

We had left the last gas station in that god forsaken town hours ago

 and I never wanted to look back

There was nothing between us and the inevitable darkness that surrounded us

And yet something told us to stop that night between the stop sign and those dark woods

As we each imagined a new life for us built up in tents outside of this place, outside of here

We envisioned our elders possessing our skin that night

 wondering what they would imagine for themselves

Watching them as their dreams disintegrated and fell away

 into normal habits of the everyday human being

All of us stood there watching where youth faded and wisdom fell into your hands 

But something brought us back from those moments of insanity

as we felt the beauty rush in once more

We all watched as the town we had called home had shrunk right before our eyes 

The driveway never made me feel more alive

cheers.

Winter Passing, Spring Blooms

The Bench down by the coin operated laundry mat was our favorite spot
As you allowed your hands to form into shadowed animals upon the walls
I always felt as though we had an audience, you always enjoyed that feeling
The dog chasing the rabbit was the classic choice, as my child like heart grows old
This bench is beginning to have its wear on me as I begin to feel the distance settle in

cheers.

Simplicity in its simplest form

Although my poetic entries are good, I am running low on fuel for them.

In other news I wonder how I am capable of making the same mistake twice. The worse part about this mistake is that I knowingly did it all on my own. I had it in the back of my mind from the beginning and I think that is what may have messed me up.  Oh well, I just have to teach myself to not take things so seriously. I think If I were capable of letting go of whatever is holding me back, I would be a whole lot more happier than I am as of this very moment 

I am however in a very decent mood, even with my winter break coming to an end, I believe I did not waste a single second of it being sad or confused like I usually would. I am thrilled by simplicity suddenly and I am enjoying each moment it enters my world. For instances, I ordered Netflix and for some reason I cannot tell you how ecstatic I am for it! I put loads of foreign films on it along with independent ones I have always wanted to see! 

I've been discovering simplicity in my most complicated relationships. I'm uncovering the small things that I never noticed before and realizing that the people in my life are more worth it than one could imagine. I am realizing that although I am "alone" romantically speaking, that I am better off and I am realizing that relationships that are formed now may not last, that I am not at a point where I need one or even long for one. 

I am still at the point where I do not know what I want from my life, which may be a bad thing but who knows. I am unsure of where I should transfer to in a year or what I am going to do when I get there but I do know that no matter what I am always taking my photos with me. I know that when I am completely done with college I am packing all my belongings and I am going cross country to California and there I will become a vagabond and learn about life the real way. I am determined to do all this and yet I feel no sense of direction. oh my.

cheers. 

The Complications of a Mathematic Equation

I tried doing the long division and seeing what matched up

But the amount of time and the life lines upon your hands didn't meet

Those hands I thought I knew so well were telling stories of a lost past 

As the fresh Wyoming air hit my hair and then bounced back

 Visions of these midwest dreams were barely able to play out

While I looked out my window to see the plastic, fake, cheap imagery

As Pink Flamingos lined up and down this sad pathetic street

I remember regretting never knowing Mom well enough before I left

And Dad sent me a postcard this fall saying he wish I were here

I tried doing the long division and seeing where It went wrong

As I find that this simple algebra, is more complex than it seems

cheers.

Sighing & then Some:

I'm so incredibly bored right now, with everything.

cheers.

The Same Strokes lead into Old Habits

Where this sea of quilts that once embodied you are covered in your scent

I pretend you lay closer to mean than where you are in actuality

And I can only wish I were fragile and blue for you, waiting in the melancholy waste

As prayers and conversations with God begin to mean less and less than before

Just as Early mornings meet late afternoons, we lose track of all time, track of our minds

While the older women down the street converse about their youth, we're trapped in ours

As my hands reach to your cheeks to touch your beautiful porcelain cheeks

I imagine our bodies falling into the sea and my eyes wake before we hit the bottom

While these strokes lead us into all of our old habits, You keep on coming back

cheers.

This vague feeling of Winter

As I curled up in my gray sweater, the one you always said never fit 

This fit of human emotion runs through me and I am left without words

December showed itself in a terribly beautiful way, It allowed me to exist

All the while it took me everything to realize It could be you, as I let it slip by

Watching as my body challenged all the things my heart began to realize 

Trapped in an everlasting statue of unmoved regrets, I am idle in thought

this vague feeling of winter is beginning to give me wings, If only I could soar

If I were to question these movements, would you question me?

cheers loves, happy 2009!